What is co-parenting?

Would you have and raise a child with a co-parent?

Families come in many forms. Single-parent families, same-sex families, blended or stepparent families, as well as grandparent families. The traditional family, or nuclear family, wherein two married parents raise their children together under the same roof, is no longer the unique type of family. 

Co-parenting (which is when two single people or even two couples decide to team up to have and raise a child together) has become more and more popular over the past few years. Unlike traditional couples, co-parents aren’t romantically involved and usually don’t live together. However, they do have one thing in common: the desire to become parents. 

What is co-parenting?

Co-parenting usually describes a situation in which two divorced parents decide to share custody of their child following a separation. 

But co-parenting can also involve two people or two couples (most of the time, although these numbers can differ and many other arrangements are possible) who team up to have a child together. No dating, no romance, no sex. No project of marriage. This is simply about raising a child together, all while sharing parental authority. 

Whether they be a couple experiencing fertility issues, a same-sex couple or single people wishing to become parents, they all choose to have a child together without the added complications of a romantic relationship. Even before conception takes place, the parents decide to share all rights and responsibilities towards their child and agree on the conditions of custody, expenses related to the child, as well as many other important things.

How does co-parenting work? 

There are many possibilities when it comes to co-parenting arrangements. A lesbian couple could team up with a gay couple to have a child together. Two single people (straight or LGBTQ) could also join forces to become co-parents. These are just a few examples, however.  

Of course, people who decide to have a child with a co-parent don’t just do so on the spur of the moment. This is a well-considered plan. Most co-parents search for years before finding the right partner to raise a child with. It’s normal: having a child is the most important decision that a person can make. Additionally, the rights and the well-being of the child should always be top priority. 

Some people team up with one of their best friends or a same-sex couple that they know personally. Those who don’t know anyone in their surrounding area usually look online instead. Today, you can find several websites connecting people who are looking for a man or a woman to have a child with. Just as with dating sites, you create your profile, browse those of other members and contact the ones that interest you. It’s vital to take the time to search and then have several long discussions with each potential match. 

Before going any further, the aspiring parents must make sure that they are on the same page regarding custody, expenses, where to live, childcare, education, religion, etc. Sharing the same moral values is also important, in order that the child will not grow up confused. It’s essential to look for a trustworthy, responsible and reliable person to ensure that your child will be raised in a stable and safe environment.

How do you make a baby with a co-parent?

You may be wondering “but how do two people who are not romantically involved make a baby together?”. Well, they basically have two options: having a baby the natural way (i.e. through intercourse) or via fertility treatment, such as artificial insemination or in vitro fertilisation. In this case, no intercourse is required but the cost is obviously higher, especially with IVF.

Becoming a parent, whether with a co-parent, as a solo mum or dad, or with a romantic partner, is the most wonderful experience that a man or a woman can have.