Routines! I guess we sort of just fell into ours. I think our approach to parenting and to life in general is just to see what works. See how we can fit things in to do our day that enables us to sort of feel like we've got things under control.
I think when both parents work from home like Adam and I do and have very young children, you sort of do need to know loosely what you're doing. You simply can't wake up each day not knowing who's doing what. So I guess in that sense, we have a routine.
But we certainly don't have a super strict routine, it's flexible and I guess that's one of the benefits of working from home for yourself.
There's a fine balance between being too flexible and relaxed with routine and being super strict. Because on one hand - no one's going to do your work for you, but on the other your work place is your home and the lines between work and home sometimes seem to get blurred especially when work runs over and there's no strict finish time.
The boys are always our priority, that's just parenthood and parenthood always comes first. Adam and I split our days, one of us works in the morning and the other works in the afternoon, so that there's always someone with the boys.
We take the boys to certain groups/classes during the week and Ethan goes to nursery two mornings a week (soon to be three from September). Adam works a second job three days a week (soon to be shorter hours again from September). So with things like that, there is definitely routine.
It's good to have routine I think especially when you do what we do It's good to know in advance when you're going to be working and when you're going to have time with the children, or for yourself or with each other.
As I said, work and other things often runs over. Sometimes play time might run over, sometimes doing the house jobs does. It's easy to get into a bit of spin with it all sometimes, to feel tired and a little bit drained when you have to fit so much in to not many hours in a day.
But the way I try and look at it is - I'm always going to have to spin plates and juggle, it's part of grown up life and certainly part of having more than one child. So the best way to look at it is as a whole rather than as individual things. It's very rare that I can give one single thing my entire focus or attention, so as long as I have made a dent or I have done something, well than that's OK. As long as I can balance out and split everything that needs my attention - making sure that I give a little to everything and everyone, well that's really the absolute best I can do right now.
It's not an easy thing for someone like me, I'm a perfectionist, I like to 'complete' and feel like I've always done my best and not cut any corners. But quite honestly since having Logan and since my blog has got busier and Adam has got busier with his business, that's just not always possible.
It's also tough going from being a parent of one child, to a parent of two. You suddenly need to split yourself all of the time. It can leave you feeling horribly guilty and then drained. But that's what it's like as a parent to more than child. You do have to split yourself and you have to find a way to be OK with that. I like to look at it that Ethan will get to grow up with a brother, he'll go on to create some of the most magical memories with him and have a friend for life, and then the guilt of splitting myself right now seems pretty insignificant when I look at the bigger picture.
I think that when it comes to routines, it's about finding something that works for you and your family, plus work and general running of day to day life and the house. It's about fitting things in throughout the week rather than in to just one day. We all have off days and days where our children decide that they totally are not cooperating, so it's about accepting that I think and knowing that some days won't always go to plan, but also knowing that some days it's OK if all you did was breathe and keep yourself and your babies alive that day.
I filmed this video discussing routines and a look at how our weeks generally run if you'd like to have a watch.
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I can't believe ethan naps for 3 hours. You're very lucky. Regarding going out with the 2 boys on your own.. you're not alone on that. I'm never really on my own out and about with the two. I go for a walk with them in the double buggy but that's 2 hours max. I haven't done anything else.
ReplyDeleteWe have loose routine too, I think it helps me and the girls know what we are doing and what to expect. I don't do half the things I did with one children, now I have two. It's tough! X
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