I've mentioned a few times here on my blog about how I suffer with anxiety and sometimes a rather annoying lack of self-confidence. I've suffered with anxiety for a long time now and whilst it's something that I'm comfortable talking about and sharing with others, it's something that I sometimes find hard to explain. Part of my anxiety, sees me having trouble speaking clearly a lot of the time. I think sometimes I can come across as a confident speaker, as someone who believes in what they are saying most of the time. But a lot of the time, I have this doubt in the back of my head when I'm speaking out loud, I stumble, stutter and fall over my words a lot of the time and whilst I know this is amplified in my head, it bugs the hell out of me.
I'm open about the fact that I'm a introvert and that big groups are just not my thing. I prefer to stick to my own company or the company of just one other. I like things that way and I always have. But I'm also very aware of the fact that being an introvert and having anxiety can and is holding me back from doing some of the things that I want to do in life.
Looking at my blogging (just purely as an example).. There's things that I'd like to be able to have the confidence to be able to feel that I could do, such as saying yes to attending events. I often find exciting event invitations in my inbox, but not once have I ever said yes to attending any of these events (apart from BritMums Live, which took a whole load of will-power and for Adam to travel to London with me!). In fact, I'm so used to saying no, I often won't finish reading the email before I've moved on to the next. I've also wanted to try my hand at vlogging for a while now and there are many reasons as to why, but one of the main reasons is to grow that confidence that I know I lack. Part of the reason I applied to Channel Mum, was to give me a reason to HAVE to sit down and make videos.. sort of a reason to force myself to stop hiding behind my computer screen and show others who may feel similarly to myself that really - it's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
It took me a while and a bit of an emotional battle to do it, but I actually filmed a video over the weekend where I talk a little more about my anxiety and how I intend to grow my self-confidence. If you'd be interested in watching, you can find the video below.
You're amazing. I'm also an introvert and probably the worst company in (big) groups. Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteI also suffer from anxiety which stops me from doing so much! I think it's why I write so much :)
ReplyDeleteGreat vlog - You come across brilliantly! x
Amazing post. I suffer a lot with anxiety and it stops me doing lots of things I would love to do. I am currently trying to tackle it.
ReplyDeletexxx
Lyndsey
www.labeau.co.uk
What an amazing post. I also suffer with exactly the same symptoms as you and stutter when I get anxious, groups aren't my thing and I much prefer being at home. Thanks for talking about it and making me feel more normal :)
ReplyDeletePaula ♥ | http://www.la-vida-fresa.com xo
I am an introvert and also get my words muddled up when speaking a lot as I'm not confident speaking to most people. Great vlog! xx
ReplyDeleteI'm also terribly introverted and I stammer terribly when I try to do videos! I'm glad I'm not the only one who suffers anxiety over this! You've really inspired me to post more, I really want to get on YT more this summer and get over my fear of "public" speaking (even if it is just to the camcorder!).
ReplyDeleteAlex go you!!!! I talk about anxiety too but mine stops me from getting too close to many people. I worry too much about what people think x
ReplyDeleteCongrats on joining Channel Mum Alex, I can totally relate to some of this post, I am pretty confident at chatting or doing things on my own, but I also suffer from terrible anxiety, this can often stop me doing stuff. I get really fearful of things and I always have done but it's not something I talk about a lot on my blog. It's silly really, I should do. What a great post to write. xx
ReplyDeleteI totally relate to this post tanks for sharing alex its good to know I'm not the only one like this. http://www.joannavictoria.co.uk/
DeleteI am someone who used to only eat in the same place and order the same things, never went to a restauraut after 7pm coz i was scared they wouldnt be serving (?!) now i order what i want, i go to new places, and i have started running,change is scary but change is good. it all still scares me completely but i make myself do it.
ReplyDeleteYou are a natural in front of the camera and you come across really well xx
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