Fostering Children.. How will they affect your Children’s Lives?

I think it's important to address the topic of fostering on my blog. As like I said on my last post (on why foster carers are so important- if you didn't see it, see here) there are 87,000 children in care homes in the UK and with children coming into care at a rate of one every 22 minutes, the foster system in Britain is at breaking point. 

Fostering a child can be a rich and wonderful experience for all of those involved. Most foster parents argue that whilst they are helping the children for however long they are in their care for, the children have a more influential impact on their lives and hearts than the other way round.

However, how does adding to your family in the form of foster children affect your own children? Having an unstable routine can be difficult for children at the best of times, so how do you keep things ‘normal’ for them?

Keep them informed every step of the way

Cluing your children in on each part of the process can help to make them feel involved and an important, vital part of the experience which can be good for their self esteem and will prevent them from feeling left out from things. For younger children, you could even get them books about foster care or the adoption process to help them understand further. 

 Ensure they get the attention they need and deserve

You will of course be extremely busy settling the new child into your home, especially if they are from a particularly troubled background. This can be a long and difficult process, so trying to have quality time with your own children can also be hard. Aim to work something out in terms of a rota, or you could even take advantage of the rest of your family by asking them to care for the foster child for an hour or so, which may also help them feel part of the wider family too. 

 Give them time to adjust and be patient

It’s an extremely complex time for everyone so being patient and putting the trust in your child adjusting to the process is important. The definitely will get there and it may even be quicker than you think.

 Spend time together as a whole family unit

Why not take the time to do family activities as a whole family unit? Days out at theme parks, cinema trips or even just hanging out together at home can help all of you bond further and will help your children to visualise themselves as part of a slightly adjusted family. You could give the children the opportunity to pick the activities that you do, too, to help them feel special and important.

And above all...

Remind yourself that you are doing a fantastic and positive thing for all of those involved! Ignore any myths that fostering can be damaging for your children. Take advantage of the help and support provided by your foster care team, whether you’re fostering in Cornwall, Cardiff or Coventry. You are far from alone in the process and deserve as much support as your children do.